Preparation for H

I expected some fallout. It's not like you can expect to push a baby out of your hoo-ha and everything will just be hunky dorey down there right away (or ever). And it's not like I haven't heard a million stories of the potential lovely side effects of this need to breed (varicose veins in your labia anyone? rectal incontinence?). And though I am insanely lucky to be as well as I am, I thought dealing with a 2nd degree tear that tore again a week later, added to nipple issues of various sorts was enough. I just wasn't prepared for hemorrhoids people. Maybe constipation, I mean it's par for the course. I had been lucky not to have had that prior to birth. But there is nothing quite like the hemorrhoidy sensation of impaling yourself on a big, bristly hair brush, trying to move off it but managing to wedge it deeper.  Especially when you're sitting, and gosh don't babies need to eat a lot (I sit more than sanity allows these days). I have waged a full scale attack in response, herbal sitz baths, homeopathis, toxic steroid cream, witch hazel pads, suppositories (made with cocoa butter; and you thought nothing could ruin the smell of chocolate), and now foam. Oh, and stool softeners and bran flakes. But that's it. I refuse to go into further diet changes because that would lead to depression, no thanks! [Speak to me again in a week or so]. I think it's all helping, but it's a lot to stay on top of! Props to all the ladies and trans dudes out there having bio-children. It's one heck of a ride on a hair brush.

NB: Daniel is 7 weeks old already, yikes! He melts my heart. Totally worth it.

E